Current issue — Quarter III, undated
Goods for
questionable
adventures.
Outfitting the morally flexible since 1974. No cause too noble. No motive too unclear. Every item cleared for civilian misuse by a committee that has never convened.
Recovered inventory
— current issue
Approved by no oneCN-042 — Adventure Apparel
Prioritizing The Cigar Tee
For people who make poor choices.
$34.00Specification Sheet →
MP-004 — Morale Products
[ product shot — morale products ]1:1 Scale (Not Really)
Participation Patch
Awarded for showing up, eventually.
$9.00Specification Sheet →
CN-058 — Adventure Apparel
Cheaper Than Bail Tee
Built for bad decisions.
$34.00Specification Sheet →
FE-009 — Field Equipment
[ product shot — field equipment ]1:1 Scale (Not Really)No training required!
Ambiguous Compass
Points somewhere. Consistently.
$41.00Specification Sheet →
Filing cabinet — departmental drawers
AA-Adventure ApparelWearable solutions for unplanned situations.Open drawer →MP-Morale ProductsMorale products of questionable motivation.Open drawer →FE-Field EquipmentField-tested under highly dubious conditions.Open drawer →PD-Poor DecisionsWe probably shouldn't have made these.Open drawer →DN-Dubious NecessitiesNot necessary. Not unnecessary. Dubious.Open drawer →
Customer correspondence — declassified 1983
"I ordered the tee in March. It arrived in November, in a crate, with a compass I did not order and a note reading 'you'll need this more.' They were correct. I have not returned. Neither has the compass."
M. Halloran
Regional Coordinator of Unclear Objectives